Innocence Lost
by NevynR
Summary: set post episode 3x24. Beckett wakes up to find things changed, Castle included. What do the changes mean for them? Rated M for violence, language etc.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Innocence Lost**

**Summary: set post episode 3x24. Beckett wakes up to find things changed. Can Castle help her through it, or will the changes drive them apart once more?**  
><strong>Rated M for violence, language etc. Stuff in <em>italics<em> is Beckett's flashback POV.  
><strong>

**Authors Note: I had to get this one written down, it just wouldn't leave me alone for _days_. My biggest problem was that all I had in my head to start with was the final scene, and had to work backwards from there. *sighs* ah well, all in all, I am pretty happy with how it all turned out. I promise I'll get back to actually finishing some of the other ones I have on the go now, honest! As always, review please people!**

**NevynR  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Her world is naught but a swirling blackness, brief flashes of random memory play themselves out in her mind's eye, like a random movie.<p>

_She looked out across the sea of sombre faces, the sun shining on the grass, the breeze in the leaves as she stood in front of the assembly, and drew breath to pass on her memories of their slain Captain._

_"Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices, but we are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me that, for us there is no victory. There are only battles. And in the end, the best you could hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky, you find someone willing to stand with you." She paused, looking into the eyes of her partner, before continuing. "Our captain would want us to carry on the fight. And even if there is..."_

_Thud. _

_Impact cut her words short._

_Pressure._

_Peace._

_Pain._

_Blackness, for but a moment._

_She opened her eyes, to find herself staring into the clear blue sky. Castle's face swimming into view, his words indistinct, faint. Straining, she blinked and tried to make sense of what he was saying, but can't quite make it out. She gathered herself, forced herself to focus._

_"Oh, Kate. Shh. Kate, please. Stay with me, Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay? Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate." Castle's fervent words stunned her mind beyond pain for an instant as she felt the corners of her mouth start to smile, and then her eyes slid closed again._

_Nothingness._

* * *

><p><em>Pain.<em>

_A jolt forced her eyes open briefly, and all she could see is the inside of an ambulance. Terrified, she rolled her eyes around, searching. Following the pressure on her chest, she saw Castle's arm with a wadded up jacket under his hands, staunching the flow of blood._

_"BP is dropping! I need an IV and some fluid in her, or we'll lose her!" The disembodied voice of a paramedic fades out as blackness sweeps her under once more._

* * *

><p><em>Fluorescent lights flicker past her eyes rapidly, the sound of gurney wheels on the floor almost concealed by the organised chaos as she is surrounded by emergency department personnel.<em>

_"Caucasian female, single GSW to the chest. BP last 80 over 30, tachycardic. She's had two bags of saline so far. We need a chest x-ray, stat. Send her to OR three as soon as we have those x-rays." A voice rattled instructions off in a clipped tone, the words meaning nothing to her, not making it past the burning in her chest, and the coldness she feels creeping towards her._

_Blackness._

_Quiet._

_Peace._

* * *

><p>Time passes, washing around her like a stream parting around a boulder. For her, there is only nothingness. For the rest of them, time... passes.<p>

Minutes turn to hours.

Hours become days.

The days merge seamlessly together, ending the first week.

Life... goes on.

United in their grief, they settle into a routine. Every morning, Castle arrives in the waiting room, coffee in hand. The second visiting hours arrive, he is shown into her room, where he takes station in a chair by her bedside. Every day without fail, Castle sits next to her, taking her hand in his, thumbs tracing mindless patterns as his voice softly holds the sterile beeping of the machines at bay. His mind drifts as he talks to her, saying nothing, saying anything, just to give her a thread to follow back to him.

When visiting hours end for lunch, he leaves, returning five minutes before he is allowed in once more. He is met by her father, Ryan and Esposito. Handshakes are given and a small, almost imperceptible shake of Castle's head tells them there has been no change. The first hour passes slowly, and the detectives have to return to work, leaving Jim and Castle alone in the room. Castle is silent, allowing Jim to talk his daughter as the writer sits in the corner, laptop on his knees as he types absently, his fingers the only sign of his pent up frustration.

Two hours before visiting hours end for the day, Castle leaves, returning with half an hour remaining. Take-out in hand, he shares it with Jim as they pass small talk and eat. As the day winds down, they each press a gentle kiss to her forehead, and leave with a whispered goodnight. Most days, their afternoons are interspersed with visits from the others: Lanie, Martha, Alexis, and Josh.

All the while, a uniformed officer waits outside the room, keeping watch.

* * *

><p>The days passed, and Jim Beckett found himself opening up to Castle, swapping stories about Kate, each bringing out a tale in turn, sharing their memories of her, drawing comfort with each retelling. In Jim, Castle could see where she got stubborn streak, and her sarcastic wit. From his uncomfortable plastic chair, Jim came to see the man behind the Castle persona. His face stripped by grief of the mask worn most of the time, Jim saw the man jokingly referred to as Writer Boy, and saw why his little girl had started to enjoy her work. He knew she would always be driven to justice, to fight for those who needed it, but she had started to laugh again, to soften, and he knew that Castle was the reason he had started to see the tiny glimpses of his little girl again.<p>

* * *

><p>On the eighth day, they raised the topic of her rehab. Josh flicked through her chart, assessing her physical recovery. "The numbers look stable so far... The infection she picked up has almost gone, and her vitals have been steady for the last few days." He put the paperwork away, and turned to face Jim. "The only thing keeping her asleep is her mind. I have no idea how long it will be before she wakes up, but I'd hazard a guess it will be any time now. Are there any plans for what will happen when she gets out?"<p>

Jim looked at Kate's boyfriend, wondering. Glancing over to Castle, they nodded at each other. Jim cleared his throat before speaking. "Yeah. She will be staying at Castle's loft. She's lived there before, when her apartment was... blown up. I know she'd probably be unhappy about the idea, but it's the best we have." He saw the pained look on Josh's face, but ploughed on regardless. "Josh, I know you care for her, but everything we've been told so far is that she is going to need full-time care, at least for the first couple of weeks after she gets out. As much as I know you'd like to be there for her, you have said it yourself, you can't be there all the time. You are needed here, doing your job, saving other lives. Once she's out, Kate will need rehab, and monitoring, and Rick's offered his place for the job. He has a guest room downstairs, and everything she will need to help her recovery. He's lucky enough to be able to take as much time as she needs..." He stepped back slightly, allowing Castle to speak up.

"Josh, I know she won't be happy about it, but it's for the best, I hope you can see that. I don't want to be a bone of contention between you to, but this goes beyond her recovery. A lot of what has gone on, I can't really share with you, but it is enough to know that this wasn't a mugging gone wrong. It wasn't some hopped up young gang kid with a gun and a grudge, Josh. She was shot, deliberately, as she gave the eulogy for her Captain, in front of half the NYPD. My place is more secure than having her locked up at the precinct. She has only just made it this far, and I'll be damned if they get her again. If there is _anything_ that can be done to keep her safe, it will be done." Josh was taken aback at Castle's words. He had never really liked the man shadowing Kate, suspecting that the author was far from simply following the detective around out of the goodness of his heart. Almost every time Castle's name came up, it was about something funny Castle had said, or done, or talked Ryan and Esposito into. If he tried, he could hear the fondness in her voice as she talked about her partner. Slowly, he came to realise that she had come to accept the way Castle was, almost to look forward to it, and Josh had a hard time keeping the jealous tone out of his voice every time the topic came up. Always the funny guy, never serious, never behaved, the Castle that Kate let slip was not the same man Josh had seen at her bedside for the last week. Than man was as regular as clockwork, as serious as anything he had ever seen in all him time as a doctor. Hearing the words from Castle about safety and security, the unswerving fervour with which he was obviously devoted to keeping Kate alive, Josh had a hard time believing that there wasn't something more between the author and his partner. He knew that Kate had been a wreck in the summer, and it was Castle's fault. If the way that his departure left her shattered when he left for the Hamptons wasn't a dead giveaway that she felt something more than friendship, it was confirmed when Castle had returned, his coming fracturing the wounds on her heart that had barely begun to heal over. Knowing Kate, he was sure that she would never cheat on him, but he would have to have been a lot more foolish than he was to not see that there was _something_ between hanging in the air between the two of them, something unspoken, something held back. With a bitter sigh, he nodded.

"As much as I don't like it, Rick, the last thing I want is for her to put her life at risk again."

"Thank you, Josh, for understanding." Castle pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to the doctor. "This is my number. If you want to see her, give me a call, so I can get the doorman to let you up. With some of the precautions we've taken, if you don't call ahead, I can't guarantee you'll get in. Once she's progressed to not sleeping through the day as much, you can go back to calling her phone, but until then, it's best if you go through me." Josh took the offered card, looked at it briefly, and put it away. Moving over to the bed, he pressed a brief kiss to Kate's lips, and left the room.

* * *

><p>The next day, Castle nearly fell off his chair when the hand he held twitched once. Frantically, he searched her face for any sign she was waking up. Returning the squeeze of her hand, he noticed as a tiny frown formed on Beckett's brow.<p>

"Kate..." He whispered, leaning forward so his face was inches from her head. "Kate, can you hear me? Can you wake up?" Faintly, he felt her hand clench again, her eyes twitching behind her closed eyelids. His free hand gently stroking her hair, Castle kept whispering, hoping. "It's OK, Kate, you are in the hospital, you are going to be ok, it's all going to be ok... I need you to wake up, Kate, please... I need you to come back to me, Kate."

Slowly, hesitantly, her eyes opened, then blinked rapidly in confusion. Castle stood up quickly, the chair scraping back. Bringing his face into her view, he searched her emerald eyes, hunting for the spirit he _knew _was in there. "Kate, it's me, come on, you can do it, Kate, look at me..." She blinked again, focusing on the blur in front of her, feeling the gentle strength as his hand gripped hers. His words sank into her mind, leading her as she swam towards reality. The first things that came into focus were his eyes.

_So blue,_ she thought. _Bluer than the sky at the funeral..._ The rest of his face resolved itself more slowly, his words filtering in, beginning to make sense. Working her lips, she tried to speak. Seeing her mouth twitching, he leaned over to the table and grabbed a small glass of water, gently parting her lips so she could take a small sip through the straw. The itching at the back of her throat eased as the cool water slid down, allowing her voice to work.

"What...?" Faint and raspy, she whispered.

"You were shot, Kate, at the funeral. You have been out for over a week, you nearly didn't make it."

"Who..." Confusion raced across her face as she sought frantically for answers in her mind, the images hazy and tenuous.

"We didn't catch the shooter, Kate. I saw the light glinting off his scope, but I got to you too late to stop him. Everyone went for cover, and I saw you'd been hit. God, Kate, all I could see was you lying there as you bled... We kept pressure on your would until the ambulance arrived, Esposito and Ryan went after the shooter, Lanie and I tried to keep you awake." Gently, he kept stroking her hair, silencing her unspoken questions as he told the story. "We got you to the hospital in time, but we almost lost you on the way... We were lucky to have one of the best surgeons on hand when you went into surgery... Kate, Josh was the one who pulled the bullet out, after it had nicked your heart. You had broken ribs, a punctured lung, and massive internal bleeding. He says you crashed on the table twice... You were in there for nearly eight hours, before he came and told us you had pulled through."

Wincing in pain, Kate took another small sip of water as Castle continued. "We've been here as long as they'd let us, hoping you'd wake up, Kate, praying you'd come back to me, to us." The faintest of smiles crossed her face as she struggled to speak her one word reply,

"Always..." She closed her eyes with a sigh, and slipped into the darkness once more, the ghost of a smile on her lips. As her breath steadied and her face relaxed, Castle grinned like an idiot, seeing her actually sleeping instead of falling back into the horrible emptiness of her coma. He leant forward and kissed her forehead. Slowly, quietly, he slipped his phone from his pocket with his free hand, turned the ring volume down to buzz, and sent a quick text to the others, letting them all know the good news.

* * *

><p>A week later, Kate was ready for discharge. Still unhappy about the fact that she would be on at least a full month's enforced living at Castle's place, she saw the need, and despite her misgivings, she was grateful for it.<p>

The car pulled up into the garage under Castle's building, and he got out. Walking around, he collected the wheelchair that he had left next to the car space, and pushed it over to the passenger side door. He opened the door, offering Beckett his hand. Slowly, wincing in pain, she manoeuvred herself out of the seat and into the chair. Castle closed the car door, and pulled her bag of clothes from the boot. Making his way to the elevator as he began to list the security arrangements that had been done while she was in hospital.

"We're not taking any more chances, Beckett. I've got a private detail on the loft, and on Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Jenny. Same for me, Mother and Alexis. The doormen have been given photo ID of everyone allowed up to the loft, and the whole route is covered by cameras." He exited the elevator from the garage, and made his way to the main lift. Once the doors closed, and the lift started moving, he continued. "The door has now got a one inch steel plate in it, as does the entire wall. There is still a single key access, but there is now an eight-pin locking mechanism more like a bank vault, so the it wont be being kicked in anytime soon. The hall cameras are set to trigger a movement alarm, linked to the main television, and a smaller screen in the kitchen, so we get advance warning of anybody coming up. All the windows are bullet-proof, have been tinted, and have had thermal shielding, so they wont even be able to see in with infra-red." Having reached the door, he unlocked it and made their way inside.

"My story board has a copy of your murder board on it. Given the way files and evidence keeps getting 'misplaced', all we need to do is take a photo of it and email them to an account I have set up, and we can collate the data here. You'll be sleeping in the guest room where you stayed after your apartment got blown up, as it's downstairs, and you have the en suite for when you need it." He pushed the chair into the guest room, and placed her bag on the bed. "There's a call button on the bedside table, so if you need anything, I can come help you out. Alexis and Mother will be home sometime in the next half hour or so, if you need a hand unpacking your clothes."

"Thanks, Castle." She said, still thinking about the impressive list of modifications he had made to his home, just to keep her safe. Unbidden, a yawn forced it's way out of her. Shaking her head at how rapidly she tired, she said "I think unpacking can wait for now. Can you help me up? I think I should get some more sleep before they get back."

"Of course." Castle backed the chair up next to the bedside table, then pulled the blanket down. Helping lift her out of the chair, he set her gently down on the edge of the bed. Turning his back modestly, Castle gave her some privacy to remove her sweater. While she was busy, he opened pulled out a packet of painkillers, and left them on the bedside table, next to a glass of water for later.

Her hands gripping the bottom of her sweater, Beckett let out a gasp of pain as she tried to lift it. Castle spun back around, eyes downcast as he asked,

"Beckett? You ok?"

"Not really..." She hissed quietly. "I don't think I am used to this whole 'not being able to undress myself yet' thing..."

"Did you want to wait until..." She cut him off.

"No, Castle, I need rest. I guess you're going to have to step up and help me out here..."

She smirked slightly as she saw for the very first time, Richard Castle blush. "I'll be good, I promise..." He said, trying very hard to keep the twinkle out of his eyes. Gently, he helped turn her so that she was sitting cross legged on the bed, and moved so that he was behind her. Placing his hands on the bottom edge of her sweater, he slowly worked it upwards, revealing the faded old grey t-shirt she wore underneath. Once it reached her armpits, he raised her right arm above her head and slipped the sweater off. Carefully, he pulled it over her head, before gently pulling it down her left arm.

He tossed the sweater onto the wheelchair within easy reach of the bed in case Beckett needed it later. Standing up once more, he walked around in front of Beckett again.. pulling the blankets up over her knees, he said "I will be out in the lounge... If you need anything, just give me a yell, ok?"

"Will do, Castle." He passed her the painkillers, and the glass of water as she spoke. "Castle?" She paused, unsure of herself. for a moment. Buying a few seconds, she downed the painkillers and looked up at him. "I... thanks. For everything."

"Don't mention it, Beckett. We want you back as soon as possible..." He looked at her, his eyes examining her in minute detail, assessing, testing, trying to see how much pain she was in, trying to find out how far from all right she was. Seeing her accepting help, being forced to put up with relying on someone else was a wrench for him. After a moment, he gave a small, satisfied smile, noting the spark in her eyes once more. He stood up and made his way to the door. Turning the light out, he closed the door, saying "Sleep well, Beckett. If you're not up by six, I'll wake you or dinner."

A small yawn, followed by a sleepy "Thanks, Castle" was the last he heard from Beckett for a good few hours.

* * *

><p>Three days passed, and Beckett grew stronger with every passing moment. She had had visits from all of the others, the steady flow of people helping keep her mind off the fact that she was pretty much housebound. She got a rare moment's solitude just after lunch. Martha and Alexis headed out, after messaging Castle to make sure he was almost back to the loft. The others had left not long before, and Kate took advantage of the situation to stretch her muscles out as gently as she could. Bracing her right hand on the kitchen bench, she slowly stood up, testing as her legs took her weight. Gingerly, she made her way around the bench into the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of orange juice. She was so focused on getting it over to the bench that she failed to notice the tv monitor in the kitchen flicker to life, showing Castle heading down the hall, bags of groceries in hand.<p>

Putting the juice bottle down, she made her way to the cupboards, and was trying to get a glass out when she was startled to hear the sound of the groceries being placed on the bench. Turning as quickly as she could, she saw Castle sitting on one of the stools, grinning at her.

"Hey, Beckett. Up and about, I see..."

"Seems so..." She flashed him a cheeky grin, her joy at being out of the wheelchair and moving around under her own power obvious.

"I have a surprise for you..."

"Oh? Am I going to like it?" Suspicion flashed across her face as she tried to figure out what he had organised.

"I think you'll like it. I was saving it for when you managed to start moving around by yourself, and not before." He walked into the kitchen and offered her his left arm, allowing her to hold on. Slowly, he lead them back towards the guest room, confusion evident on Beckett's face.

Sitting her down on the bed, he opened the top drawer in the dresser. He removed a small box, and sat down opposite Beckett. She saw the box and her eyes widened, her jaw dropping.

"Is that...?"

"It's not what you think, Beckett." He cut her off. He opened the box, and withdrew a delicate bracelet with a small heart-shaped pendant on it.

"As a security measure, we all are carrying concealed GPS units. This is yours. The pendant has a small battery in it, and it broadcasts it's location once every hour. It took a bit of doing, but we managed to get the units made small enough to be concealed in things that somebody like Lockwood probably wouldn't removed if he kidnapped one of us, unlike a phone. Even if they did a sweep for bugs, the fact that they only transmit for a few seconds every hour means the chances of them picking up on it are very remote." He reached out and fastened it around her right wrist. So focused was he on attaching the tracker that he didn't notice the way Beckett swallowed and tried to control her breathing at the gentle touch of his fingers on her wrist. Letting go of the bracelet, Castle sat back, picking up where he left off.

"Now that you are able to move around well enough, I should let you know that this room has been rigged with a panic system as an additional fail-safe. All you need to do is knock the lamp on the bedside table over, and a priority alarm will be triggered at the precinct, as well as notifying text messages being sent to a number of phones: mine, yours, Ryan and Esposito, your father, as well as the security detail. I'd have included Josh in that list, but I didn't know if he'd get the message in time to be able to do anything about it, given his work schedule..." He moved to the head of the bed, and pushed the headboard firmly. Silently, it slid up and revealed a small, concealed safe. He picked up the pistol inside and showed it to Beckett. "This is in case the worst happens, and you can't get to your service weapon. There are two full magazines in there as well." Beckett looked stunned as he calmly ejected the magazine, showed her it was full, and flicked the slide release, before reinserting the magazine.

"I'll leave it loaded, but with an empty chamber. If you need it, you won't have time to worry about fumbling the clips." He saw her expression as he placed the pistol away and closed the headboard. "Why are you looking at me like that, Beckett?"

She was silent for a second, searching his face for answers, wondering where the hell this new Castle had come from. Slowly, she stood, carefully, placing her hands on his arms, looking him directly in the eyes. "Because this is a side of you I have never seen before, Castle, one I never even thought you _had_."

Gently, tenderly, he raised his right hand to tuck a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. Searching her eyes, he could feel the tension in his body start to slide away as he read the concern in them. Sensing the shift of mood, Kate slipped her hands inside his jacket and stepped forward slowly and wrapped her arms around him, silently offering comfort.

She felt her own stress ease as the familiar scent of Castle filled her nose, the feel of his arms around her soothing her. Frowning slightly, she noted that something felt… different about him. Not in the way he held her, but just… him. Absently, she ran her hands across his shoulders, and back, feeling, trying to find out what had triggered her sixth sense. She cast her mind back to their kiss, before rescuing Ryan and Esposito. She recalled the scent of him, the feel of his lips on hers, the feel of his hands on her. More, she remembered the feel of him under her hands, and _there_ was the difference. Before, he had nice shoulders, nice arms, heck, pretty much everything… nice. What she felt under her hands at the moment was like stroking a panther, smooth velvet over muscle. Very well defined muscle, she noted. Her hands unconsciously drifted lower tracing the line of his spine before they stopped abruptly as she felt the distinctive grip of a handgun.

As she froze in place, Castle pulled back slightly, wondering why she had stopped. He certainly didn't mind the hug, and her wandering hands were starting to push his mind away from comfort to something much more pleasant.

"Kate, what is it?" He asked softly. Tracing the handle of the gun lightly with her fingertips, she replied.

"Castle, since when do carry a gun around the house?" His eyes hardened, the gentle, tender look falling from his features as he realised what she was talking about.

"Since I don't go anywhere unarmed anymore."

"When, Castle, why?"

"Since that night in the alley, since we rescued Ryan and Esposito… Since I realised that this wasn't just about finding your mothers' killer any more. Since I realised just what I had to lose…" His hands on her hips, he put everything he felt into his voice as he explained. "That night, as you bandaged my hand, I knew it was not just for your mother any more. It was about you, and me, and all the people we care about. So I did what I needed to do… You know I can handle a gun, hell, you've seen me shoot. I never thought I'd need to, while I was just following you around. The goofy sidekick doesn't do 'hero', remember? I have a concealed carry permit, and my gun is on me as soon as I get up. Nobody thinks about me having it, because all they see is the carefree clown in a designer jacket. I have a .38 holdout in an ankle holster as well, just in case. I have one for you too, for when you are up to being able to bend that far down. I made a few calls to people I know, and I had a couple of ex-SEALS start teaching me hand to hand as fast as I could learn." He paused, gathering his thoughts, before giving a weary sigh, his head falling forwards. "You were right when we argued before the funeral, Kate. You said that running around with the funniest kid in school just wasn't enough any more. At the funeral, that kid saw his best friend fall in front of him, felt her blood on his hands, and watched as her eyes closed, not knowing if they would ever open again. He grew up. I am your partner, and I will be damned if I let them take you from me. Before that fight, before that night at the hanger, Your father came here, to talk to me..."

"What? Why?"

"Because he loves you too, Beckett. He knows the stakes better than just about anybody. He begged me to talk to you about it, to ask you not to throw your life away. He knows that you want the people responsible, you want that bad, and I get that. He lost his wife to that monster, and he's afraid, Kate, he's afraid he'll lose his daughter as well. Both he and Montgomery pretty much told me flat that the only person who had any chance of even getting you to ease back a fraction on it was me. I promised you that I'd be there by your side when we brought that bastard down, and I meant every word, I still do, Beckett. The _only_ damned reason I came to you about it was because of your father. Can you think of any other reason I would even _consider_ asking you to not chase this so hard?"

"But..." He cut her off again, his right hand rising unbidden to brush the hair at her temple gently with his finger tips. Trailing his fingers behind her ear, he brought his hands up to cup her face tenderly, his eyes boring into her trying to show her what he meant, what he felt.

"No, Kate. I promised you I'd be there for you, always. Nothing will change that, but I need you see how much it might cost. I want you to see this through, I want to be there with you as they cuff that sorry son of a bitch and drag him off to a cell to rot. I want to hold your hand as they lock him away for life, or give him the needle. I don't want to be sitting in that court room with an empty chair next to me, wearing a black arm-band for the woman who should have been there as well. Pick your spot, Beckett, and I'll stand by your side, come what may, but please don't let them take you away as well. Love the memory of your mother, love your father, but live for yourself, and for those who love you... please..."

His eyes glistened as he poured his heart out to her, tears making their way down his cheeks as he tried to make her understand how much it meant, how much _she_ meant to him. Beckett blinked rapidly, feeling the sting of tears in her own eyes as she felt his words strike home with as much force as the snipers bullet, piercing her wounded chest. She felt her heart breaking, her armour shattering as she came unravelled by the intensity of his emotions. Her hands moving to his face, mirroring his own, she drew a shuddering breath, her voice faint as she replied.

"Only you..." She swallowed as she sought the strength to continue. "Only you, Castle, could ask this of me, and not have me hate you for it. You kicked the hornet's nest years ago, knowing you would get stung, and it nearly killed me to bring it all back out. I would have killed you for it, because I nearly lost myself when I lost her. The only reason I didn't lose myself again is because you were there for me. If I didn't know you were there for me, to help me up when I fell, to be there when I needed it, if you were there anything less than always, I couldn't keep doing it. Only you would be stupid enough, brave enough, strong enough to take that chance, to risk losing everything we are to save me. I am so sorry, Richard, so sorry that you had to make that choice. It must have nearly killed you to say those things to me, knowing how I would react. I will promise to do everything I can to be there with you when we bring him to justice, I will do what we know has to be done, even if that is let it slide a while, I can do it, but only if you are there with me." Her head dropped forward, their foreheads touching as her breath caught in her throat. Looking up at him once more, through eyes red and puffy from tears, she opened herself, baring her soul to him, trusting and vulnerable. Their noses almost touching, she whispered, afraid to speak the words that needed to be said. "Can you, will you be there for me?"

"For you, Katherine, always..." Slowly, unstoppably, their faces came together, their lips touching gently. Hesitantly, gaining more confidence as they went, the kiss deepened as they tasted their tears upon each others' lips, a sense of completeness, a feeling of something so right it could not be spoken filling them. Maybe, they both thought, just maybe it would work out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok folks!**

**I know this hasn't been touched in ages, but it's for a _reeeealy_ good reason: I've been slaving over a hot keyboard for weeks now, and Innocence Lost has a sequel: Demons' Run.**

**You can find it here: .net/s/7479409/1/**

**The story takes place immediately following the events of Innocence Lost, and I think you'll enjoy it. :-D**

**Cheers,**

**NevynR**


End file.
